The other day I was @ work in the crapper hiding from my frienemies. There are three stalls on my floor and unfortunately two were taken so I had to use the one that for whatever reason gets no cell signal. That’s some ol’ bullcrap by the way ’cause the stalls are basically all next to each other yet only when I sit in the two outer ones can I access my twitter stream. That should be some kind of quality of life issue the mayor should look into, but let’s not get into that. I was left in the stall with the two most popular pages of any newspaper, the sports page and the gossip page (like you ain’t know, someone tell Rupert Murdoch). And so I’m sitting there feeling disappointed with life and I start skimming and happen upon the following comments from Gwyneth Paltrow who was responding to questions about her former co-star’s rapping career:


“What advice would I give to Joaquin? Hmmm…maybe to go live in the projects for a few years to get some authenticity, maybe.”

I thought to myself, damn, she’s right! If Joaquin Phoenix is forreal about doubletiming and being a Trendz Of Culture fan, he should consider getting skin augmentation like that dude in Tropic Thunder or maybe robbing a few people or becoming an apprentice to a crack dealer. That’s the only way fam! You know, I would have never imagined Paltrow could be so in tune with the way of the rap industry but I guess that’s why she gets paid to publish a lifestyle newsletter and I waste my time on this dissociative blog, or whatever it is.

Ok, so you’re wondering why there’s a picture of a b-boy up there right? Well, I basically wrote all that crap as an excuse to post a song. Here is a track from recently deceased (but never forgotten) Queens-to-ATL mc Jax which explores the issue of keeping it real. He was a master songwriter.

Jax – Real Deal
From his solo J.F.K. (Jax Forever King)